I’ve been sick the past few weeks, and it’s made it really hard to take care of my normal responsibilities at work, and at home.
And while I know it makes sense that I can’t get everything done while I’m in pain or fatigued…
…I’m still super fucking frustrated that I’m not able to care for myself the way I want to.
There are days where it takes all of my willpower to rest and ignore my household chores, yet again.
There are moments when I do have the energy to get shit done, and then I feel like a failure for not immediately jumping up and being a productive human being.
Most days, when I look at the amount of things I need to get done, despite having little to no energy, I feel overwhelmed, bleak, and hopeless – and I wonder, how long will I feel this way?
I’m talking about this in regards to illness, but let’s be honest:
There’s a good chance that you feel something like this every day, because we live and work within systems that strive to extract as much labor out of us as possible, and then shame us or punish us when we say, “that’s too much.”
Here’s what’s been helping me the past few weeks. Hopefully, it’ll help you, too:
✨Remembering that the internal voice that says “I’m a failure” or “I should be doing more” isn’t actually how I feel.
When I slow down and connect to my intuition, the truth is, I like myself!
That judgemental voice is just internalized messaging that has been passed down to me from a capitalist society that makes me feel like I’m not a “functioning adult” if I don’t get everything on my to-do list done.
✨Asking myself, “does anyone else actually care if this happens?”
This is SUCH an important question to ask. Every day, I ask this of the leaders of color I work with, because oftentimes we take on responsibilities that literally no one else cares about or expects from us – and then feel deeply burdened and overwhelmed by it.
So, make sure you get clear on what exactly other people’s expectations are for you (don’t guess, literally ask) – you’ll often find that they’re way lower than you thought, and there’s so much opportunity to feel less pressure and do less.
✨Looking for ways I can get things done easier.
For example, if I need to cook, what’s the literal easiest thing I can make?
But also…do I even need to cook, or do I have the resources to just order delivery this week?
✨Making sure I do things to take care of my mental health
It’s also so much easier to not feel overwhelmed when you are doing the things that support your mental & emotional health – because they give you a little more distance from negative thoughts.
But in a world where we are constantly burnt out, exhausted, and overwhelmed, focusing on our mental health can often be the last thing we’re thinking about.
When you’re feeling like shit, take that as a signal that you’re not a failure…but you just might need to amp up the ways you care for yourself while things are a little harder. It might not make your to-do list smaller, but it will make you significantly less miserable while you knock things off of your list.
✨Ask for support!
This one is huge. I’ve been leaning on my husband in big ways, but I’ve also been leaning on friends, my therapist, and my doctors to give me the support I need.
Whether it’s just asking a friend to normalize what I’m experiencing, or enlisting my husband to remind me that certain things don’t actually need to get done, I couldn’t do this alone (and I’ve been practicing rest for years.)
If you’ve loved the little bit of support I’ve offered here, I’ve got good news for you:
Season four of my podcast, Revolutionary Rising, premieres next Thursday, August 31st – and this season, we’re talking all about rest.
We’ll be discussing:
👉🏿how to rest more and feel less guilt about it, no matter how much you’ve got going on.
👉🏿the specific obstacles BIPOC folks experience when they try to do less, and how to overcome them.
👉🏿 the journeys of leaders and entrepreneurs of color who have gone from feeling burnt out and overwhelmed to feeling so much joy, rest, and ease in their life.
It’s going to be a really good season, full of tips, resources, and tools like I shared above (okay, actually way better than I shared above, if I’m being honest) – so make sure you click here to find the podcast on your favorite app and ensure you’re subscribed!
If you’re new to the podcast, make sure you check out previous seasons, too.
Season 3 was all about speaking up as a leader and entrepreneur.
Season 2 was all about how to be a revolutionary leader.
Season 1 was where this all began! That season, we talked about how to do business outside of the white-washed norm.
Whether you’re an entrepreneur or a leader of color, there’s gems to be taken from literally any episode – so go back and listen, and prepare to have your mind blown.
Are you looking for more personalized support? No worries, I gotchu, boo.
Click here to learn more about what it looks like to work with me for 1:1 coaching.
Whether it’s via the podcast or through coaching, I can’t wait to support you.
Sending you love,