Blog

Does any of this sound like you?   ✅ You fixate on every single thing you do wrong. ✅ When you’re not perfect, you feel like you’ve failed. ✅ You constantly worry if you’re doing enough (and are convinced that you’re not). ✅ You secretly worry that, one day,...

I know you’ve been holding a lot of grief, fear, and anger lately. You’re completely in the right to do so, by the way. You should grieve loss of life. Of course you’re afraid when people are being targeted, kidnapped and brutalized based on their race. It’d be...

To put it lightly, the news has been heavy lately. You know that in order to be a good citizen of the world and stay vigilant, you have to stay present with the news.  That being said, you also know that your current consumption of the news is impacting you and your...

It’s a new year, which may mean you’re thinking about making changes personally and/or professionally. You may be considering (or making!) a transition to a new role, a new industry, a new location/home, and the list goes on. If you’re making a transition and you’re...

I have something surprising to tell you: It’s not inherently bad to be triggered. Yes, it’s unpleasant. Yes, it can be tough to control your response to the trigger if you haven’t worked on your nervous system regulation. The trigger itself, though, is actually...

Like a lot of people, I built a new relationship with my identity as a Black woman in 2020. I’ve always been proud to be Black – but thanks to white supremacy, I never felt like I was “Black enough.” Through media and subliminal messaging, white supremacy created a...

As a person of color, it’s likely that your stress and anxiety isn’t just related to current events. It’s also about your intergenerational trauma being triggered by the persecution, erasure, and lack of safety for folks of color. I saw this first hand with my client,...

In a session with a client the other day, they were telling me about how they finally weren’t experiencing imposter syndrome. They could see that their experiences and skills prepared them for this next step in their career, and instead of feeling nervous that they...

A question that’s been coming up in a ton of my 1:1 sessions with US based clients is: “What’s the point?” When it feels like the world is burning, people’s rights are being stripped daily, and like we’re going backwards as a society quickly (at a terrifying pace)......

I was on a coaching call with a 1:1 client last week, and as we worked through their money issues, I got a full body chill. Why? Because as I was working with them, I couldn’t get this thought out of my head: I really fucking love this work. I love seeing my clients…...

Unless you’ve been with me since 2020 (in which case, I’m honored!) this is going to be a huge shock to you: I really used to struggle with feeling like I wasn’t “Black enough”. I grew up being told I “talked white,” liked “white” things, and I had predominantly white...

Right now, let’s be honest:You’re working a high-demand, energy draining job…..or, you love what you’re doing but you’re hustling and grinding yourself to death.You’re caretaking for other humans in your life…...you’re trying to keep yourself healthy & alive (I...

Do you avoid difficult conversations? Maybe you feel stressed for days ahead of time, anticipating everything that could go wrong, or you go in expecting conflict or a fight. If so, you’re just like pretty much every single leader of color I work with… …which means...

When my client, Grace, came to me, she had one major goal:   Regain her confidence after experiencing years of microaggressions in the workplace.   After years of being constantly questioned, gaslit, and undermined, she was: 😡silent and anxious in meetings...

Recently, my client Monica wanted to work on her personal brand.   She wanted people to see her as a confident and capable leader, knowing that this would translate her into getting:  🔥 higher impact projects to work on 🔥 more ownership and autonomy at work  🔥...

If you’re anything like the leaders of color I work with, something you struggle with a lot is self-advocacy. You find it difficult to: ❌ shout your wins from the rooftop ❌ set boundaries and say no ❌ ask for what you need and deserve ❌ negotiate raises, promotions,...

One of my clients is a leader looking for a new role. (Honestly, a lot of my clients are looking for new roles right now! Something’s in the water…) During our first session together, she expressed frustration that she was actively avoiding and procrastinating on...

I was recently working with a leader of color who was really struggling with his motivation. He was going to work and doing his job (because he, like all of us, was well trained by the capitalist machine) but outside of work, he couldn’t get himself to do much of...

Most folks wouldn’t send this email… ...because we learn that in order to be respected as leaders or experts, we have to be perfect. We have to know everything all the time, and never show that we’re struggling, or else people will wonder: "How can you lead me, if you...

Something I’ve been talking about a ton with my clients is how they can lead more according to ancestral wisdom and cultural values.   See, like you, my clients are leaders of color who: 💡 are tired of the impersonal and inhumane ways we are told to “lead” 💡...

I was on a call getting to know a potential new client last week, and they asked me a really good question: “What’s the difference between coaching and therapy?” Let’s be honest - it’s probably a question you have, too. My guess is that like most of the folks who...

Do you ever feel like you’re doing your best to be the best, human centered leader you can be… …but for some reason, you’re still feeling like you’re failing? You’re doing your best to: be transparent and open ensure that everyone feels safe and doesn’t experience...

Can I celebrate something really cool with you for a second?Let me set the scene for you:My client, Marie, was staring at the ocean waves as she relaxed on the beach in Belize.(I know, I was jealous when she told me, too lol)It was the last couple days of her...

As a leader of color, I know you are navigating complex conversations every single day.   You have to clearly, compassionately, and firmly have difficult conversations like: ✅giving feedback to folks who are underperforming ✅letting folks know that their role has...

Something I've been talking about with a bunch of my clients lately is balance. See, like you, my clients are really busy people. They’re leaders at nonprofits, entrepreneurs, board members and VPs at major companies, and the list goes on. It’s hard enough to balance...

It’s been a minute since I’ve written a post. (At least, by my standards!) But I slowed things way down in my business this month to take care of my health.  To be honest, giving myself permission to skip my posts was the hardest part of slowing down.   Here’s...

Happy New Year!!!! If you’re anything like all of my clients right now, you’re thinking about what you want for yourself this year as a person, and as a leader. You might have some very specific resolutions or goals that you want to accomplish this year. So, in the...

I have a love/hate relationship with this time of year. I love all of the lights, decorations, and the festive nature of the season. I love the emphasis on community, gratitude, and being present with one another. But one thing I hate is how much pressure there can be...

Earlier this year, one of my clients was in a seriously shitty situation. She’s an Executive Director at a nonprofit, and she had to make a tough decision about a team member. Making the decision was tough, but the worst part came afterwards. See, some folks on her...

The other day, I heard my husband listening to some white Tiktokers using appropriated AAVE (African American Vernacular English, more colloquially known as ‘ebonics’) and it really pissed me off. My white husband, in typical white person form, said this to me: “If...

​I was really surprised when I heard my client start our session off like this: “I just feel like I’m failing as an adult these days.” This took me off guard, because this client takes impeccable care of herself.   She: 👉🏿exercises religiously 👉🏿cooks healthy...

I’ve been sick the past few weeks, and it’s made it really hard to take care of my normal responsibilities at work, and at home. And while I know it makes sense that I can’t get everything done while I’m in pain or fatigued… …I’m still super fucking frustrated that...

​Chances are that you’ve tried to follow traditional communication advice at work, and for some reason, it’s not working. You try to do the exact same things that the white dudes do in meetings, and yet you still get talked over, talked down to, or ignored. Here’s why...

Something I’ve really been focused on for the last couple of years is building community. But over the past few months, I’ve been at a complete standstill. Even though I want deeper community where I live, there’s been a strong inner voice that has been saying, “fuck...

I’m not sending a super long email today, because, well – I don’t want to, lol. Something I’ve learned as I’ve healed my internalized capitalism is that a lot of the things we think we need to get done… …actually, just really don’t. Like seriously, everything will be...

I was really stressed the other day. My heart was racing, my inner critic was really loud and harsh, and it felt almost impossible to focus. Years ago, it would’ve taken me days, weeks, or sometimes months to move through these feelings and regulate my emotions. That...

If you’re anything like me, when you’re looking for a coach, your biggest question is: “Is this person actually legit?” Which, tbh, is a fair question…because most folks who claim to be coaches are just folks who woke up one day and decided to start selling coaching....

Do you ever set unrealistic goals for yourself... …and then completely beat yourself up for not achieving them? If so, you’re probably a lot like my client, Joy. Joy knows her goals as a leader are too unrealistic, and yet – she can’t stop herself from setting them....

I just hopped off a graduation call with my client, Aida (tears!) During that call, she shared something that really made me thrilled… …but tbh, it’s something I hear literally every time I work with a client (and it never gets old!) "I was blown away by what I was...

It’s really fucking hard to find "the one." We normally hear this phrase as it relates to love… …but the truth is, it relates to everything. It’s hard to find the right: 💕doctor💕hair stylist💕therapist💕yoga studio and the list goes on. The same, unfortunately, is true...

“I just feel so much guilt when I rest because I know I have so much privilege.  I feel like I should be using my privilege to help others.” One of my clients said this to me the other day, and trust me – I get it. I bet you get it too, because in communities of...

A really cool thing happened to me the other day. I had multiple client sessions where, well – we really didn’t have anything to talk about. Both of these clients were feeling so damned good… that they literally couldn’t think of one challenge that they needed support...

“I’m really proud of myself.” How often do you say that and really mean it? My guess is, probably not that often… …because if you’re being honest, it’s hard to feel proud of what you’ve done when you feel like you’re always behind/never doing enough. When you cross...

I took this picture the other day, and it really means a lot to me: This is a photo of the post-it I made last month when my 1:1 coaching practice officially filled up, and went on a waitlist. It shows me how many clients I can accept for each month through the end of...

I saw this tweet the other day, , and I instantly thought of you: I know this is very likely something you struggle with. I know, because this is something my 1:1 clients and I talk about all the time. Here’s why you struggle to know the difference between your...

This post was actually supposed to go out yesterday, but I stopped work early and didn’t write it. Here’s why: I could tell I was about to burn out for the day. Even though I hadn’t hit the end of my work hours for the day… (which are specifically designed to prevent...

If you’ve ever tried to “just push through” your fears of speaking up, likely one of two things happened: You did it, and had a massive “vulnerability hangover” – aka you freaked out (and probably went silent again) for days, months or weeks after.You freaked out...

Almost every single leader of color I work with has this problem: They get pretty triggered by cis white dudes. I saw this first hand with my client, Tanya. When my client, Tanya, had their first 1:1 session, they just couldn’t speak up in meetings with the white,...

One of my clients came to me hellishly burnt out last year. Like many of my clients who work at non-profits, she had way too much on her plate, and folks still asking her for more. She felt like she was drowning, and had been for a while. Just a couple months later,...

When someone says something like this to me, it always shocks me: “You always have a smile on your face” “You’re so sweet – I can’t imagine you getting angry” “You’re just always laughing” I’m not shocked because I’m secretly a grade A asshole. I really am nice, I...