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feel ok when nothing is ok

feel ok when nothing is ok

Most folks wouldn’t send this email… ...because we learn that in order to be respected as leaders or experts, we have to be perfect. We have to know everything all the time, and never show that we’re struggling, or else people will wonder: "How can you lead me, if you...

leading with ancestral wisdom

leading with ancestral wisdom

Something I’ve been talking about a ton with my clients is how they can lead more according to ancestral wisdom and cultural values.   See, like you, my clients are leaders of color who: 💡 are tired of the impersonal and inhumane ways we are told to “lead” 💡...

learn stress-management tools

learn stress-management tools

I was on a call getting to know a potential new client last week, and they asked me a really good question: “What’s the difference between coaching and therapy?” Let’s be honest - it’s probably a question you have, too. My guess is that like most of the folks who...

3 tools for better convos

3 tools for better convos

Do you ever feel like you’re doing your best to be the best, human centered leader you can be… …but for some reason, you’re still feeling like you’re failing? You’re doing your best to: be transparent and open ensure that everyone feels safe and doesn’t experience...

ever thought this?

ever thought this?

Can I celebrate something really cool with you for a second?Let me set the scene for you:My client, Marie, was staring at the ocean waves as she relaxed on the beach in Belize.(I know, I was jealous when she told me, too lol)It was the last couple days of her...

finally stress free around difficult conversations

finally stress free around difficult conversations

As a leader of color, I know you are navigating complex conversations every single day.   You have to clearly, compassionately, and firmly have difficult conversations like: ✅giving feedback to folks who are underperforming ✅letting folks know that their role has...

want to find balance?

want to find balance?

Something I've been talking about with a bunch of my clients lately is balance. See, like you, my clients are really busy people. They’re leaders at nonprofits, entrepreneurs, board members and VPs at major companies, and the list goes on. It’s hard enough to balance...

no more overwhelm

no more overwhelm

It’s been a minute since I’ve written a post. (At least, by my standards!) But I slowed things way down in my business this month to take care of my health.  To be honest, giving myself permission to skip my posts was the hardest part of slowing down.   Here’s...

new years resolutions secrets

new years resolutions secrets

Happy New Year!!!! If you’re anything like all of my clients right now, you’re thinking about what you want for yourself this year as a person, and as a leader. You might have some very specific resolutions or goals that you want to accomplish this year. So, in the...

staying sane during the holidays

staying sane during the holidays

I have a love/hate relationship with this time of year. I love all of the lights, decorations, and the festive nature of the season. I love the emphasis on community, gratitude, and being present with one another. But one thing I hate is how much pressure there can be...

you matter too

you matter too

Earlier this year, one of my clients was in a seriously shitty situation. She’s an Executive Director at a nonprofit, and she had to make a tough decision about a team member. Making the decision was tough, but the worst part came afterwards. See, some folks on her...

the truth about anger

the truth about anger

The other day, I heard my husband listening to some white Tiktokers using appropriated AAVE (African American Vernacular English, more colloquially known as ‘ebonics’) and it really pissed me off. My white husband, in typical white person form, said this to me: “If...

bad adult

bad adult

​I was really surprised when I heard my client start our session off like this: “I just feel like I’m failing as an adult these days.” This took me off guard, because this client takes impeccable care of herself.   She: 👉🏿exercises religiously 👉🏿cooks healthy...

big news!

big news!

I’ve been sick the past few weeks, and it’s made it really hard to take care of my normal responsibilities at work, and at home. And while I know it makes sense that I can’t get everything done while I’m in pain or fatigued… …I’m still super fucking frustrated that...

hard truths about communication 👇🏿

hard truths about communication 👇🏿

​Chances are that you’ve tried to follow traditional communication advice at work, and for some reason, it’s not working. You try to do the exact same things that the white dudes do in meetings, and yet you still get talked over, talked down to, or ignored. Here’s why...

rough therapy session

rough therapy session

Something I’ve really been focused on for the last couple of years is building community. But over the past few months, I’ve been at a complete standstill. Even though I want deeper community where I live, there’s been a strong inner voice that has been saying, “fuck...

shortest post ever

shortest post ever

I’m not sending a super long email today, because, well – I don’t want to, lol. Something I’ve learned as I’ve healed my internalized capitalism is that a lot of the things we think we need to get done… …actually, just really don’t. Like seriously, everything will be...

tired of emotional rollercoasters?

tired of emotional rollercoasters?

I was really stressed the other day. My heart was racing, my inner critic was really loud and harsh, and it felt almost impossible to focus. Years ago, it would’ve taken me days, weeks, or sometimes months to move through these feelings and regulate my emotions. That...

red flags

red flags

If you’re anything like me, when you’re looking for a coach, your biggest question is: “Is this person actually legit?” Which, tbh, is a fair question…because most folks who claim to be coaches are just folks who woke up one day and decided to start selling coaching....

big mistake. HUGE.

big mistake. HUGE.

Do you ever set unrealistic goals for yourself... …and then completely beat yourself up for not achieving them? If so, you’re probably a lot like my client, Joy. Joy knows her goals as a leader are too unrealistic, and yet – she can’t stop herself from setting them....

better than therapy?

better than therapy?

I just hopped off a graduation call with my client, Aida (tears!) During that call, she shared something that really made me thrilled… …but tbh, it’s something I hear literally every time I work with a client (and it never gets old!) "I was blown away by what I was...

pulling back the curtain

pulling back the curtain

It’s really fucking hard to find "the one." We normally hear this phrase as it relates to love… …but the truth is, it relates to everything. It’s hard to find the right: 💕doctor💕hair stylist💕therapist💕yoga studio and the list goes on. The same, unfortunately, is true...

every leader of color needs to read this

every leader of color needs to read this

“I just feel so much guilt when I rest because I know I have so much privilege.  I feel like I should be using my privilege to help others.” One of my clients said this to me the other day, and trust me – I get it. I bet you get it too, because in communities of...

this is what empowerment looks like

this is what empowerment looks like

A really cool thing happened to me the other day. I had multiple client sessions where, well – we really didn’t have anything to talk about. Both of these clients were feeling so damned good… that they literally couldn’t think of one challenge that they needed support...

better than expected

better than expected

“I’m really proud of myself.” How often do you say that and really mean it? My guess is, probably not that often… …because if you’re being honest, it’s hard to feel proud of what you’ve done when you feel like you’re always behind/never doing enough. When you cross...

very important post it

very important post it

I took this picture the other day, and it really means a lot to me: This is a photo of the post-it I made last month when my 1:1 coaching practice officially filled up, and went on a waitlist. It shows me how many clients I can accept for each month through the end of...

is it intuition or anxiety?

is it intuition or anxiety?

I saw this tweet the other day, , and I instantly thought of you: I know this is very likely something you struggle with. I know, because this is something my 1:1 clients and I talk about all the time. Here’s why you struggle to know the difference between your...

sorry i’m late

sorry i’m late

This post was actually supposed to go out yesterday, but I stopped work early and didn’t write it. Here’s why: I could tell I was about to burn out for the day. Even though I hadn’t hit the end of my work hours for the day… (which are specifically designed to prevent...

science backed facts

science backed facts

If you’ve ever tried to “just push through” your fears of speaking up, likely one of two things happened: You did it, and had a massive “vulnerability hangover” – aka you freaked out (and probably went silent again) for days, months or weeks after.You freaked out...

white dudes

white dudes

Almost every single leader of color I work with has this problem: They get pretty triggered by cis white dudes. I saw this first hand with my client, Tanya. When my client, Tanya, had their first 1:1 session, they just couldn’t speak up in meetings with the white,...

bad news

bad news

One of my clients came to me hellishly burnt out last year. Like many of my clients who work at non-profits, she had way too much on her plate, and folks still asking her for more. She felt like she was drowning, and had been for a while. Just a couple months later,...

you got me f**ked up

you got me f**ked up

When someone says something like this to me, it always shocks me: “You always have a smile on your face” “You’re so sweet – I can’t imagine you getting angry” “You’re just always laughing” I’m not shocked because I’m secretly a grade A asshole. I really am nice, I...

blame your mom

blame your mom

My guess is that if we’re being honest… you don’t really trust yourself. You’re constantly questioning your 👉🏾thoughts👉🏾decisions👉🏾capability to do or “handle” things You know it’s holding you back from being the leader or entrepreneur that you really want to be. This...

panic attack in the serengeti

panic attack in the serengeti

I had something really crazy happen to me on vacation. My husband and I were on Safari in the Serengeti. I should’ve been having the time of my life. I was on a once in a lifetime trip, seeing the most incredible animals do the most incredible things. But TBH, I was...

watch out for this red flag

watch out for this red flag

I recently went to a doctor for help with a chronic illness that I’m trying to understand better… …and instead of getting the support that I need, I left: 😡gaslit😡spoken down to😡deeply upset Instead of asking me about my 10 years of lived experience with the illness…...

how i changed my life in 2022

how i changed my life in 2022

“I can’t imagine anything better to spend our money on.” My husband said this to me in our living room this past April, after I had just gotten off the phone with a doctor to discuss ketamine treatments… …and I didn’t know it then, but those words would change my...

very important message

very important message

When you “push through” your burnout and keep working, the work you’re doing… …well, it probably sucks. Okay, that might be too strong, but seriously - the work you do, the way you show up, it’s not going to be as good as if you’d just sit your ass down and rest. Why?...

feeling burnt out? read this

feeling burnt out? read this

I’ve been feeling really, deeply burnt out for the past month or so. But instead of doing what I knew needed to be done to heal my burnout, I did a thing that you probably do too, ... …I pushed through and kept going. I was thinking, "I really want to launch this one...

worried about harming folks? read this

worried about harming folks? read this

Last week, I got an email response to one of my newsletters. In that note, a native femme shared with me that I had harmed them. The email in question included a gif, which to me, was of a harmless cartoon that featured brown people. This person, however, saw the...

gaslighting, much?

gaslighting, much?

A really toxic piece of advice you’ve likely heard from coaches in the online entrepreneurship space is that you’ve gotta be authentic to sell. Basically, what they’re saying is that you’ve got to pimp out your: 👉🏾life👉🏾feelings👉🏾experiences Or else people won’t like...

you think you’re better than me?

you think you’re better than me?

You’re brilliant at what you do. Like, seriously - if you’re not the best, you’re 100% one of the baddest around. I know it, and on your good days, when you’re grounded and clear headed, you know it too. So now that we’ve established that, I’ve got a really important...

what white coaches miss about “visibility”

what white coaches miss about “visibility”

I was talking to some of my clients last week, and as always, we ended up talking about marketing our businesses on social media (especially Instagram) and how shitty it can feel. We were also talking about some of the tired, crusty advice that they’ve gotten about...

i hate this

i hate this

It’s not your fault that you struggled to promote that event the way you really should… …or that you’ve been holding back on releasing your podcast… …or that you’re still for some reason not screaming your results as loudly as the street tops as you know you should....

focused on the wrong thing?

focused on the wrong thing?

When I was 5, my grandma called me “the mayor of kindergarten.” I reportedly would step into the classroom, and every day, announce my presence simply by saying, “I’m here!” And just like that, I had let my kindergarten teacher know that the school day was allowed to...

this might change your life AND business

this might change your life AND business

I actually can’t believe I’m saying this - but I’m like, really good at making new friends. This, btw, is a big deal for me because I’m not one of those weirdos who can magically talk to anyone, anywhere. (I may be calling these people weirdos because I’m jealous of...

i need to come clean

i need to come clean

Remember how earlier this week I told you about my client who straight up never put out her podcast? Like, recorded the whole thing and then never hit publish? Okay, I have something really secret and embarrassing to tell you… I kind of do what my client does too 😬😬😬...

can you help a sista out?

can you help a sista out?

I have a friend who recorded an entire fucking podcast and never put it out. Like, multiple episodes and everything. But that shit is sitting right on her shelves… (ok, it’s 2022, its sitting on the digital shelves, but you get what i’m saying lol) You wanna know why...

every parent needs to see this

every parent needs to see this

I work with a revolutionary leader who struggles to prioritize herself, and her bodily needs over work. Like, it’s so bad that when she’s sick…even if she can’t sit up, she’ll work horizontally, on her laptop. She knows this isn’t what she wants for herself - and yet,...

i said what i said

i said what i said

Do you really love serving and taking care of others… …or did patriarchy and white supremacy just socialize you to conflate your sense of worth with being in service of others? Is it really selfish to prioritize yourself… …or were you just raised to believe that your...

4 secrets to expand and deepen your power as a BIPOC leader

4 secrets to expand and deepen your power as a BIPOC leader

You have so many things you want to create in this world. You have a vision for yourself, your family, and your community that you know you’re ready to bring to fruition. You’ve come so far and already had so much success. But if you’re honest, you’re not shining...

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