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big news!
I’ve been sick the past few weeks, and it’s made it really hard to take care of my normal responsibilities at work, and at home. And while I know it makes sense that I can’t get everything done while I’m in pain or fatigued… …I’m still super fucking frustrated that...
hard truths about communication 👇🏿
Chances are that you’ve tried to follow traditional communication advice at work, and for some reason, it’s not working. You try to do the exact same things that the white dudes do in meetings, and yet you still get talked over, talked down to, or ignored. Here’s why...
rough therapy session
Something I’ve really been focused on for the last couple of years is building community. But over the past few months, I’ve been at a complete standstill. Even though I want deeper community where I live, there’s been a strong inner voice that has been saying, “fuck...
shortest post ever
I’m not sending a super long email today, because, well – I don’t want to, lol. Something I’ve learned as I’ve healed my internalized capitalism is that a lot of the things we think we need to get done… …actually, just really don’t. Like seriously, everything will be...
tired of emotional rollercoasters?
I was really stressed the other day. My heart was racing, my inner critic was really loud and harsh, and it felt almost impossible to focus. Years ago, it would’ve taken me days, weeks, or sometimes months to move through these feelings and regulate my emotions. That...
red flags
If you’re anything like me, when you’re looking for a coach, your biggest question is: “Is this person actually legit?” Which, tbh, is a fair question…because most folks who claim to be coaches are just folks who woke up one day and decided to start selling coaching....
big mistake. HUGE.
Do you ever set unrealistic goals for yourself... …and then completely beat yourself up for not achieving them? If so, you’re probably a lot like my client, Joy. Joy knows her goals as a leader are too unrealistic, and yet – she can’t stop herself from setting them....
better than therapy?
I just hopped off a graduation call with my client, Aida (tears!) During that call, she shared something that really made me thrilled… …but tbh, it’s something I hear literally every time I work with a client (and it never gets old!) "I was blown away by what I was...
pulling back the curtain
It’s really fucking hard to find "the one." We normally hear this phrase as it relates to love… …but the truth is, it relates to everything. It’s hard to find the right: 💕doctor💕hair stylist💕therapist💕yoga studio and the list goes on. The same, unfortunately, is true...
every leader of color needs to read this
“I just feel so much guilt when I rest because I know I have so much privilege. I feel like I should be using my privilege to help others.” One of my clients said this to me the other day, and trust me – I get it. I bet you get it too, because in communities of...
this is what empowerment looks like
A really cool thing happened to me the other day. I had multiple client sessions where, well – we really didn’t have anything to talk about. Both of these clients were feeling so damned good… that they literally couldn’t think of one challenge that they needed support...
better than expected
“I’m really proud of myself.” How often do you say that and really mean it? My guess is, probably not that often… …because if you’re being honest, it’s hard to feel proud of what you’ve done when you feel like you’re always behind/never doing enough. When you cross...
very important post it
I took this picture the other day, and it really means a lot to me: This is a photo of the post-it I made last month when my 1:1 coaching practice officially filled up, and went on a waitlist. It shows me how many clients I can accept for each month through the end of...
is it intuition or anxiety?
I saw this tweet the other day, , and I instantly thought of you: I know this is very likely something you struggle with. I know, because this is something my 1:1 clients and I talk about all the time. Here’s why you struggle to know the difference between your...
sorry i’m late
This post was actually supposed to go out yesterday, but I stopped work early and didn’t write it. Here’s why: I could tell I was about to burn out for the day. Even though I hadn’t hit the end of my work hours for the day… (which are specifically designed to prevent...
science backed facts
If you’ve ever tried to “just push through” your fears of speaking up, likely one of two things happened: You did it, and had a massive “vulnerability hangover” – aka you freaked out (and probably went silent again) for days, months or weeks after.You freaked out...
white dudes
Almost every single leader of color I work with has this problem: They get pretty triggered by cis white dudes. I saw this first hand with my client, Tanya. When my client, Tanya, had their first 1:1 session, they just couldn’t speak up in meetings with the white,...
bad news
One of my clients came to me hellishly burnt out last year. Like many of my clients who work at non-profits, she had way too much on her plate, and folks still asking her for more. She felt like she was drowning, and had been for a while. Just a couple months later,...
you got me f**ked up
When someone says something like this to me, it always shocks me: “You always have a smile on your face” “You’re so sweet – I can’t imagine you getting angry” “You’re just always laughing” I’m not shocked because I’m secretly a grade A asshole. I really am nice, I...
blame your mom
My guess is that if we’re being honest… you don’t really trust yourself. You’re constantly questioning your 👉🏾thoughts👉🏾decisions👉🏾capability to do or “handle” things You know it’s holding you back from being the leader or entrepreneur that you really want to be. This...
panic attack in the serengeti
I had something really crazy happen to me on vacation. My husband and I were on Safari in the Serengeti. I should’ve been having the time of my life. I was on a once in a lifetime trip, seeing the most incredible animals do the most incredible things. But TBH, I was...
watch out for this red flag
I recently went to a doctor for help with a chronic illness that I’m trying to understand better… …and instead of getting the support that I need, I left: 😡gaslit😡spoken down to😡deeply upset Instead of asking me about my 10 years of lived experience with the illness…...
how i changed my life in 2022
“I can’t imagine anything better to spend our money on.” My husband said this to me in our living room this past April, after I had just gotten off the phone with a doctor to discuss ketamine treatments… …and I didn’t know it then, but those words would change my...
very important message
When you “push through” your burnout and keep working, the work you’re doing… …well, it probably sucks. Okay, that might be too strong, but seriously - the work you do, the way you show up, it’s not going to be as good as if you’d just sit your ass down and rest. Why?...
feeling burnt out? read this
I’ve been feeling really, deeply burnt out for the past month or so. But instead of doing what I knew needed to be done to heal my burnout, I did a thing that you probably do too, ... …I pushed through and kept going. I was thinking, "I really want to launch this one...
worried about harming folks? read this
Last week, I got an email response to one of my newsletters. In that note, a native femme shared with me that I had harmed them. The email in question included a gif, which to me, was of a harmless cartoon that featured brown people. This person, however, saw the...
gaslighting, much?
A really toxic piece of advice you’ve likely heard from coaches in the online entrepreneurship space is that you’ve gotta be authentic to sell. Basically, what they’re saying is that you’ve got to pimp out your: 👉🏾life👉🏾feelings👉🏾experiences Or else people won’t like...
you think you’re better than me?
You’re brilliant at what you do. Like, seriously - if you’re not the best, you’re 100% one of the baddest around. I know it, and on your good days, when you’re grounded and clear headed, you know it too. So now that we’ve established that, I’ve got a really important...
what white coaches miss about “visibility”
I was talking to some of my clients last week, and as always, we ended up talking about marketing our businesses on social media (especially Instagram) and how shitty it can feel. We were also talking about some of the tired, crusty advice that they’ve gotten about...
i hate this
It’s not your fault that you struggled to promote that event the way you really should… …or that you’ve been holding back on releasing your podcast… …or that you’re still for some reason not screaming your results as loudly as the street tops as you know you should....
focused on the wrong thing?
When I was 5, my grandma called me “the mayor of kindergarten.” I reportedly would step into the classroom, and every day, announce my presence simply by saying, “I’m here!” And just like that, I had let my kindergarten teacher know that the school day was allowed to...
this might change your life AND business
I actually can’t believe I’m saying this - but I’m like, really good at making new friends. This, btw, is a big deal for me because I’m not one of those weirdos who can magically talk to anyone, anywhere. (I may be calling these people weirdos because I’m jealous of...
i need to come clean
Remember how earlier this week I told you about my client who straight up never put out her podcast? Like, recorded the whole thing and then never hit publish? Okay, I have something really secret and embarrassing to tell you… I kind of do what my client does too 😬😬😬...
can you help a sista out?
I have a friend who recorded an entire fucking podcast and never put it out. Like, multiple episodes and everything. But that shit is sitting right on her shelves… (ok, it’s 2022, its sitting on the digital shelves, but you get what i’m saying lol) You wanna know why...
every parent needs to see this
I work with a revolutionary leader who struggles to prioritize herself, and her bodily needs over work. Like, it’s so bad that when she’s sick…even if she can’t sit up, she’ll work horizontally, on her laptop. She knows this isn’t what she wants for herself - and yet,...
i said what i said
Do you really love serving and taking care of others… …or did patriarchy and white supremacy just socialize you to conflate your sense of worth with being in service of others? Is it really selfish to prioritize yourself… …or were you just raised to believe that your...
4 secrets to expand and deepen your power as a BIPOC leader
You have so many things you want to create in this world. You have a vision for yourself, your family, and your community that you know you’re ready to bring to fruition. You’ve come so far and already had so much success. But if you’re honest, you’re not shining...
i haven’t talked about this before
A couple of weeks ago I was preparing for my interview on The Manifest Edit podcast, and Efia had asked me a really interesting question…“How has your relationship with revolutionary leadership impacted the way you’ve built and managed your business?”And the honest...
here are the tips i promised you
In my last post, I talked about what apparently is everyone's least favorite place: the in between. (ICYMI: The "in-between" is this place where you’ve left something that isn’t right for you and you’re on your way to somewhere that is right for you but you might not...
this is capitalism’s fault
Last week I posted a story talking about how I'm currently in an in-between space in my business - you know the place, when you leave things behind buuuut you’re still not quite sure 100% where you’re going. It feels kind of like being on a dark path, or like you’re...
this is NOT revolutionary leadership
I've been breaking my own leadership rules lately, and I didn't even realize it. 🤦🏿♀️ I broke it because, tbh, I haven’t been fully honest with myself about what I want in my business. I’ve been so focused on what’s: realistic feasible necessary Instead of being...
i promise, this counts as work
I’m gonna be honest - I’m still transitioning back into the workplace. Why? Because my nervous system says so. Normally, let’s keep it real - we don’t hear our nervous system until it’s screaming at us for help. (I know it isn’t just me!) Even those of us with a ton...
don’t make this common mistake with goal-setting
One of my intentions this year is to have a better relationship with my work. Like most entrepreneurs and leaders, I’ve historically spent a fuckton of time stressed about work. But in 2022, I’m done with that. I’m done worrying about: how much money we're making...
the truth about taking a month off work
“I’m terrified of losing this part of myself,” I said quietly, as I sobbed into my husband’s arms. It was the Sunday before I was due to return back to work after taking all of December off. And even though I was trying to put on a brave face, , the truth of the...
this ish is for white folks (just sayin)
One of the biggest things that stripped me of my power as a leader in the past is trying to be nice. If I'm being honest, something that's stripped me of my power in every area of my life is trying to be nice. See, I'm a Black woman… ...so I don't actually value being...
leadership info that’s *actually* helpful
"I learned a ton, but it traumatized me." If you’re being honest, how many times have you said that about being in white spaces? I was talking to a friend earlier today, and said that about a leadership program I was in last year that changed the course of my life and...
Pigs are flying
I can’t believe I’m going to say this...but I actually agreed with a white dude today, lol. I was reading an article about being a leader while also maintaining your ethics, and a piece of advice that was in the article was that you want to "start from within"... AKA...
you + these power tips = liberation
"How do I hold power without being oppressive?" My client asked me this question the other day and, damn, it’s a good one. This is a client who has been in the revolutionary leadership game for a minute: they have multiple team membersan established businessyears of...
i had a conversation and it’s relatable as hell
There is nothing better than being surrounded by an incredible group of women and femmes of color who inspire you and teach you. I’ve known that for a while, but I was reminded last week when I was on an incredible community call with some of my clients. (For those of...
parents, you need to read this
One of my clients works herself to the bone. She works 50+ hours a day… ...and is up, working late into the night, sleeping with her laptop... ...all so that she can provide for her family and her children. There’s a deeper reason why she works this hard, though: it’s...
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