I work with a revolutionary leader who struggles to prioritize herself, and her bodily needs over work.
Like, it’s so bad that when she’s sick…even if she can’t sit up, she’ll work horizontally, on her laptop.
She knows this isn’t what she wants for herself – and yet, she’s having a hard time kicking the habit, because this shit is ingrained deep.
So, we looked at how her intersectional identities inform her ideas about productivity and work – because typically, these habits start with the stories our families and cultures have told us our entire life.
And suddenly, we found the key.
She’s a first generation American, with parents who worked constantly to support her and her siblings.
That work was not only how they supported her, but how they showed her their love…
…because she knows that they worked this hard so that she could have whatever life she wanted to have.
And even though her parents never told her she needed to work her ass off to survive, or show her children her love…
…she realized that even without them saying those words, that’s the message she learned.
She learned this because, as children, we don’t just listen to the words our parents say.
We pay attention to their actions, too.
And what our parents prioritize via their actions, we learn to prioritize, too.
This cycle doesn’t just end with us though.
It continues with our children, who are looking at us and our actions, the same way that we looked at our parents.
What do you want your children to learn from you?
(If you’re not a parent already, this can apply to future children, or children in your life, if you’re intentionally childfree.)
If you’re like most people, you don’t want your children to learn that they have to work themselves to the bone.
You want them to learn that they:
👉🏿get to prioritize themselves, their needs, and their joy.
👉🏿are safe and loved as their full, authentic selves
👉🏿can chase their passions.
👉🏿deserve all of the rest our ancestors never got.
Here’s the truth:
The only way they’re really going to learn these things, and feel like it’s possible for them…
…is if you’re not just giving them lip service, but you’re leading by example too.
This is why it’s so harmful that so many parents feel like it’s selfish, or taking away from family resources when they focus on their thriving…
…because when you have little ones looking up to you, well, this work is about so much more than you.
Hear me when I say this:
If you want your children to grow up as adults who prioritize themselves, their needs, their joy, and their rest…
…then you need to focus right now on being an adult who inspires them to do the same thing too.
This is why I love working with parents in my 1:1 coaching practice – because all of the work we do is a lesson, not just for you, but for the next generation too.
If you’re looking for support to be the inspiration that your children and our next generation needs…it’d be my honor to support you.
Even if now isn’t the time for you to receive support through 1:1 coaching, I hope you take this reminder with you:
Your self care is community care. It breaks generational curses, and liberates the next generation to see that another, new way is possible for them.
Go forth and truly prosper.
Because you deserve it, but because future generations deserve it too.