feel ok when nothing is ok

May 16, 2024

Most folks wouldn’t send this email…

…because we learn that in order to be respected as leaders or experts, we have to be perfect.

We have to know everything all the time, and never show that we’re struggling, or else people will wonder:

“How can you lead me, if you still need help too?”

As you know, I’m all about bucking the whitewashed leadership norms we’ve been taught (and helping my clients do that too), so I want to be transparent as fuck as you:

My mindset & nervous system has been all over the place the past few weeks.

I’ve had multiple, huge stressors making my nervous system go haywire over the last few weeks, leading me to experience more consistent anxiety than I’ve felt in a really long time.

As a result of that anxiety, all of my unhelpful thoughts have been so much louder and persistent over the past few weeks.

By most folks’ standards, I guess you could call me a “failure” as a mindset and confidence expert.

But because I’m basically the baby yoda of mindset…I actually still feel like a success.

Here’s why:

In the past, I would’ve been completely terrified by having a few weeks where I feel like this.

I’d think I was backsliding, and I’d be scared that I won’t be able to climb my way out.

But I’m not shitting you, – while I’m tired of my mind being a mess, I’m not pressed AT ALL about this moment I’m experiencing.

Here’s why:

1️⃣ It makes complete sense that I feel like this

I understand that this moment in time isn’t due to a personal failing – it’s due to the fact that my nervous system has experienced multiple traumatic events recently, and is still working out how to feel safe in this new reality.

When your nervous system is dysregulated, it’s so much harder to have a handle on your mindset because your body is saying “you’re in danger!” and as a result, your mind kicks into anxiety with the hopes that your worry and hypervigilance keeps you safe.

This is why, with all of my 1:1 clients, I teach them simple ways to regulate their nervous system – because it’s nearly impossible to get your mind in order when you’re stuck in fight, flight, or freeze.

2️⃣ I have the tools (and I’m using them) to feel better

Even though life is life-ing right now, I’ve also had access to so much fun and joy, and had some really good days.

It’s because I’ve leaned into all of my tools that I know support my mind and nervous system.

Things like:

💡 exercise (ugh!)

💡 doing the coursework from The Confidence Catalyst (seriously – I’ve been doing it right alongside everyone else! You can still sign up btw, you could catch up in 5 minutes/day.)

💡 long walks on sunny days

💡 going out with friends (even when I really don’t feel up to it)

💡 journaling

💡 spending time with my partner

💡 stretching my body in pleasurable ways


Since I’m having a harder time, I’ve simply been using more of my tools than normal, and I’ve been using them more consistently to help me clear out the anxiety that has been showing up for me most days – and it’s allowed me to access so much joy in my days, even when things are objectively really tough in my personal life.

3️⃣ I know that this is temporary

Because I have the tools I mentioned above, and I also have my own incredible support team behind me helping me care for my nervous system and mental health, I no longer worry about moments like this lasting months, or years.

I know that if I consistently lean into practices and ask my support team for help, my nervous system will 100% chill out so that I can get back to my equilibrium.

How do YOU feel when you’re having a rough couple of weeks and your mindset is fucked?

✅ Are you cool as an English cucumber because you know you have the tools for this period to be just a temporary blip?

❌ Or are you high-key freaking out because you don’t know what to do, who to lean on, and nothing in the past has worked for you?

If the latter is your truth, I want you to hear me when I say this:

I used to be there, too.


Then, I learned how to:

👉🏿understand & regulate my nervous system – so that I don’t live in a constant state of anxiety

👉🏿notice unhelpful thoughts and shift to more helpful, affirming thoughts

👉🏿see the evidence that everything being 100% okay is inevitable, no matter what’s happening today


This shit ain’t magic, precious.

I teach it to my 1:1 coaching clients all the time.

And if you’re ready to feel like you’ve got things under control, even when things are tough and your mindset suffers…

…I can teach it to you too via 1:1 coaching.

In 1:1 coaching, I’ll support you to:

💡 finally understand why your nervous system is constantly dysregulated, so that you can implement the right practices for you to heal years of dysregulation.

💡 discover the unique tools & resources that help you feel joyful and success – even when life is life-ing.

💡 learn how to implement simple, sustainable habits that help you master your mindset for good.



Click here to schedule your call.

It’s time for you to feel okay, even when things aren’t okay.




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