focused on the wrong thing?

Jul 25, 2022

When I was 5, my grandma called me “the mayor of kindergarten.”

I reportedly would step into the classroom, and every day, announce my presence simply by saying,

“I’m here!”

And just like that, I had let my kindergarten teacher know that the school day was allowed to begin, because Gieselle Allen was there.

I’m also the only person I know who actually enjoyed middle school – mostly because I was really, deeply popular.

I could walk to any lunch table in the cafeteria and sit down and kick it happily with the folks who were there.

On the weekends, I spent days at various friends’ house, and felt secured that I was loved and seen in the relationship.

No, this isn’t just an email where I bragged about how cool I was as a kid.

This is an email where we ask this question:

What happened?

Because as I told you in my last email, up until recently – I identified as a curmudgeonly, socially anxious grouch.

So – let me tell you what happened to me…


Lots of big and small traumas like:

  • Being told to “shhh!!!!” when I embarrassed my mom at Talbot’s by saying the clothes were ugly (in her defense, I was REALLY loud lol)
  • Attending a predominantly white college in LA and realizing that I was ALWAYS the ugly friend…because I’m Black.
  • Having my Blackness policed by kids in the community who told me that I “talked white” and was “stuck up”
  • Being isolated from my family because my mother cared more about using me as a bargaining chip with my dad than ensuring that I had strong family ties *sigh*

I could go on for days….

(thanks, therapy!)

….but you get the drift.

I had a lot of experiences growing up that told me that I was too loud, talked wrong, couldn’t fit in with my community, and wasn’t good enough – because other people didn’t like who I am.

I hate that I can say this with confidence, but I bet you had the same damned thing happen to you.

And if your heart is aching because you really fucking relate to this, I have a truth bomb to drop on you:

Your issues with being louder, bolder, and realer in your revolutionary message don’t actually have anything to do with that podcast, book, or piece(s) of content that you’ve been avoiding putting into the world.

It does, however, have everything to do with that younger you, who really needed someone to validate, amplify, and appreciate their voice and being…

…so that they’d grow up into an adult who knows that they can be the loudest, messiest, revolutionary version of themselves and still be loved, respected, and supported.

I’m not telling you this to say it’s hopeless.

It’s 100% not, because healing these past experiences so that you can be seen on bigger stages is the exact work I do with my 1:1 clients all the time.

I’m telling you this so that you stop spinning your wheels, wondering why those mindset tools your last visibility coach gave you don’t make you feel any safer to go out and be truly seen.

This isn’t something you can think your way out of, precious.

It’s something that needs to be healed – in your nervous system, with the support of your spirit team & ancestors, and by spending time with the version of you that was harmed.

This is deep, somatic, intuitive work – but once you do it, damn, it works.

Ready to heal from these crusty experiences and memories that get in the way of you scaling your business and message right now?

Let’s chat about working together

Sending you love and healing,

P.S. – not ready to work together but want more perspective shifts like this? Make sure you’re subscribed to the Revolutionary Rising podcast – because the third season is coming out on August 4th – and it’s allllllllllll about being loud, being real, and being seen.

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