gaslighting, much?

Aug 16, 2022

A really toxic piece of advice you’ve likely heard from coaches in the online entrepreneurship space is that you’ve gotta be authentic to sell.

Basically, what they’re saying is that you’ve got to pimp out your:


Or else people won’t like you or be able to relate to you, and as a result, they won’t buy from you.

Let’s break down why this piece of advice is particularly harmful to BIPOC folks, and may make showing up fully in your marketing even harder.

1️⃣It ignores our cultural values

If you’re anything like me and my clients, , you likely consider yourself to be a private person.

You’re not out here posting your entire life in these internet streets – and sure, some of that is because social media can feel toxic AF…

…but the rest may be cultural.

In many BIPOC cultures, it’s well known that you don’t want to “air your dirty laundry” because you don’t want to “lose face.”

We grow up hearing, “they don’t need to be all up in our business!” from our parents…

…so when white coaches tell us the only way we can sell is to pimp out our lives, they’re telling us to go against our cultural rules and ways of being in order to participate in a capitalist society.

(Sounds a lot like colonization, doesn’t it?)

I’m not saying all cultural values are helpful (many are maladaptive and/or come from traumatic roots)…

…but what I am saying is if you don’t want to, you shouldn’t (and don’t!) have to build a business that ignores your values as a person of color.

2️⃣It continues white supremacist gaslighting

Folks of color have experienced gaslighting for generations that says that our ways of showing up in the world and expressing ourselves are:


and the list goes on.

We learn from a young age that the only right way to show up is the “white” way – and so when we’re asked to “just show up as our authentic selves” on the internet…

…at the very least, it can be a complete mindfuck, because the world has never liked or approved of our “authentic selves” before.

…on the more extreme end, it can feel completely unsafe, because we or folks we love have lived experiences of being authentic, open, and vulnerable – and experiencing harm as a result of it.

3️⃣It guarantees you’re going to experience resistance

When you get business advice that goes against your socialization within your own culture and within a white supremacist world…

…it’s completely natural that you’re going to struggle to follow it.

Adhering to the values within our individual cultures, and of the white dominant world is one of the many ways we as individuals try to ensure we are safe, loved, and respected in this world.

It makes it so much harder to be visible in your business when to say it frankly, the advice that you’re getting feels unsafe and makes no fucking sense.

This is why, when you’re working on your business, you need to make sure you’re seeking out coaching, support, and advice from someone who truly gets you.

Make sure you’re working with and listening to someone who not only understands your lived experiences as a person of color, but someone who integrates them into the support they give you.

Otherwise, you’ll end up getting tone deaf, unhelpful AF advice like “just share your authentic truth” without that person understanding why that may be harder for you.

When you work with a BIPOC centered coach, you also work with someone who is capable of helping you see and heal the cultural wounds, messaging and socialization that in the past may have served you…

…but at this point isn’t doing anything but holding you back.

Ready to scale your business, and do it while considering and integrating your intersectional identities every step of the way?

Then click here and learn more about what it’s like to work with me.

Talk to you soon,

We Can’t Thrive Alone!

The best part about building a Revolutionary life is knowing that your fam’s got your back. Join the Revolutionary Changemakers of Color Facebook group for women and femmes of color who want to create change, and do it THEIR way.

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