hard truths about communication đđż

âChances are that youâve tried to follow traditional communication advice at work, and for some reason, itâs not working.
You try to do the exact same things that the white dudes do in meetings, and yet you still get talked over, talked down to, or ignored.
Hereâs why this is happening:
Itâs because the communication tools and leadership styles that work for white dudes just ainât gonna work for you.
Let me give you an example.
Itâs not uncommon for my 1:1 clients to have worked with white leadership coaches before theyâve started working with me â and one of the biggest things they work on is communication.
These clients always share with me all the tips & advice their white leadership coach gave them to âcommunicate more like a leaderâ…
âŚthey also share with me how these tips didnât work at all for them.
Hereâs what I can see as a leadership coach of color that a white leadership coach canât see:
You and your communication style probably arenât the problem here.
The problem is actually the way your identities are being perceived.
See, the way people interact with you as a leader of color actually isnât about you at all.
Itâs actually about the ways that they perceive folks who are people of color, women, queer folks, introverts, fat, etc. the list goes on.
If they respect people with your identities â theyâll be more likely to hear you and what you have to say.
And if they donât respect folks with your identities?
Well, you know what that feels like â youâre probably experiencing it right now.
This is a hard truth, and itâs really fucking unfair.
It can feel really hopeless to hear, because you canât change who you are (and you wouldnât want to even if you could).
But hereâs the real tea:Â
This is the kind of truth that is actually the key to your success as a leader of color.
How, you ask?
Because now that you know the actual problem (which, just to be clear, is NOT you and your communication style!) you can start solving & working with whatâs really going onâŚinstead of trying to fix your communication and wondering why thatâs not working.
If you get nothing else from this email, get this:
Your success (or struggles) as a leader are not separate from your identity as a person of color.
(Though itâs unfair and I wish that wasnât true.)
So when youâre looking for someone to help you thrive or overcome your struggles as a leader, make sure youâre working with someone who is a fellow person of color, and approaches leadership from this perspective, too.
Otherwise, youâll continue getting watered down, white-washed advice that doesnât work and feels like it doesnât apply to you.
If youâre ready to work with a coach who can help you thrive as a leader and overcome the unique struggles leaders of color experience then we should talk about 1:1 coaching.
I have a few spots opening up in September, and if youâd like one â itâd be an honor to work with you.
Click here to schedule a free, 60 minute call where we can chat about working together.
xx,
Gieselle
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