hard truths about communication 👇🏿

Aug 10, 2023

Chances are that you’ve tried to follow traditional communication advice at work, and for some reason, it’s not working.

You try to do the exact same things that the white dudes do in meetings, and yet you still get talked over, talked down to, or ignored.

Here’s why this is happening:

It’s because the communication tools and leadership styles that work for white dudes just ain’t gonna work for you.

Let me give you an example.

It’s not uncommon for my 1:1 clients to have worked with white leadership coaches before they’ve started working with me – and one of the biggest things they work on is communication.

These clients always share with me all the tips & advice their white leadership coach gave them to “communicate more like a leader”…

…they also share with me how these tips didn’t work at all for them.

Here’s what I can see as a leadership coach of color that a white leadership coach can’t see:

You and your communication style probably aren’t the problem here.

The problem is actually the way your identities are being perceived.

See, the way people interact with you as a leader of color actually isn’t about you at all.

It’s actually about the ways that they perceive folks who are people of color, women, queer folks, introverts, fat, etc. the list goes on.

If they respect people with your identities – they’ll be more likely to hear you and what you have to say.

And if they don’t respect folks with your identities?

Well, you know what that feels like – you’re probably experiencing it right now.

This is a hard truth, and it’s really fucking unfair.

It can feel really hopeless to hear, because you can’t change who you are (and you wouldn’t want to even if you could).

But here’s the real tea: 

This is the kind of truth that is actually the key to your success as a leader of color.

How, you ask?

Because now that you know the actual problem (which, just to be clear, is NOT you and your communication style!) you can start solving & working with what’s really going on…instead of trying to fix your communication and wondering why that’s not working.

If you get nothing else from this email, get this:

Your success (or struggles) as a leader are not separate from your identity as a person of color.

(Though it’s unfair and I wish that wasn’t true.)

So when you’re looking for someone to help you thrive or overcome your struggles as a leader, make sure you’re working with someone who is a fellow person of color, and approaches leadership from this perspective, too.

Otherwise, you’ll continue getting watered down, white-washed advice that doesn’t work and feels like it doesn’t apply to you.

If you’re ready to work with a coach who can help you thrive as a leader and overcome the unique struggles leaders of color experience then we should talk about 1:1 coaching.

I have a few spots opening up in September, and if you’d like one – it’d be an honor to work with you.

Click here to schedule a free, 60 minute call where we can chat about working together.




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