here are the tips i promised you
In my last post, I talked about what apparently is everyone’s least favorite place: the in between.
(ICYMI: The “in-between” is this place where you’ve left something that isn’t right for you and you’re on your way to somewhere that is right for you but you might not know where that next place is. 😪)
I also promised you some tips for navigating the discomfort that comes with being in the “in-between.”
So, here goes nothing:
1. Stop trying to get rid of your discomfort.
Being in the in-between is going to be uncomfortable because it goes directly against our socialization.
You’re going to feel wrong, unsafe, and all the things – so when you step into the in-between, expect it.
Instead of trying to “get rid” of that discomfort, let it be okay. We’re humans. We’re going to be uncomfortable sometimes.
And, that’s okay. Because you can handle discomfort – it’s information, not a problem.
2. Celebrate that you left the thing that isn’t right for you.
When we’re in the in-between, we hyper-fixate on the fact that we don’t know:
where we’re going
when we’re going to get there (wherever the fuck there is, lol).
That’s what leads us to feeling this discomfort and fear.
If we instead shift our focus to fixating on, “I left a thing that isn’t right for me! How fucking brave and courageous is that?”
That is a game changer.
Shifting your focus to more helpful thoughts, btw, is called “re-framing.” It’s one of many mindset tools I teach my clients in our 1:1 coaching sessions.
3. Trust that you, your business, and life are designed the heal and thrive
I recently learned a concept called a “blueprint of health” from Rachael Maddox via her book, ReBloom.
In her book, she talks about how all of our nervous systems are always trying to heal, and are designed to heal – even when they’re doing things that feel less than helpful.
I think the concept applies to relationships, business, leadership and life. Every part of our existence is inclined towards thriving, and designed to thrive.
So, if you truly believe that – is it even possible for the in-between to lead us in the wrong direction?
I think not.
4. Remember that the in-between is a place of opportunity.
In the in-between, because nothing is defined, there’s room for:
I don’t know about you, but that sounds really fun.
So allow yourself to ask, “How can I take advantage of this moment? What can I have fun with?”
You might just be surprised at the beauty that comes up for you.
5. Get support
Heading out into the in-between is scary, and if I’m being honest, , it’s hella lonely, too.
It’s easy to get lost in the fear and scarcity that a white supremacist and capitalist world has ingrained in us…
…so make sure you’ve got someone with you to remind you of all the tips I mentioned above – so that you don’t miss out on all of the growth that’s available to you when you learn how to just get comfortable in the in-between and just be.
If you’re leaving behind something that you’ve grown out of, in search of new, revolutionary futures for you, your community, or our world…
…it’d be my honor to support you as you grow and expand into the fullest expression of your revolutionary truth.
I support my 1:1 clients every day as they expand into their next level as a revolutionary leader – whether that’s building something new, expanding something wonderful, or tearing everything down to the ground to start all over again.
I do this in a way that is affirming of your identity and experiences as a person of color, queer person, neurodivergent person, child of immigrants, or whatever identities are most important to you.
As we build new revolutionary futures together, we honor the cultures and gifts of your identities, while also acknowledging and resolving the traumas that you and your people have ignored as a result of holding these identities.
You and I both know you don’t need support.
There’s nothing broken about you and there’s nothing to fix.
But if you want it, because support makes things easier, and you fucking deserve it – apply here so we can begin the conversation.
To building revolutionary futures,
We Can’t Thrive Alone!
The best part about building a Revolutionary life is knowing that your fam’s got your back. Join the Revolutionary Changemakers of Color Facebook group for women and femmes of color who want to create change, and do it THEIR way.