i messed up

Nov 24, 2020

Earlier this month, I had a mastermind session scheduled for the week of the election.

Out of the 10 people in the group coaching call, two of them requested that the session be pushed back because the week was too stressful for them to focus on anything, even a nourishing, supportive coaching call.

Now, here’s where I fucked up: my initial intent was to go with the majority.

After all, if most folks were fine with showing up, we should keep the event right?

So, I decided to go ahead with the mastermind as planned, hold space, and have a beautiful session.

Do you see the problem honey?


Just like our society, I decided to focus on the majority – folks who were okay with the election, those who felt safe.


But in doing so, I ignored those who were neurodivergent. Those who needed more emotional support, who needed safer spaces.

I was being insensitive, ableist, and the exact opposite of the inclusive leader I wanted to be.

So, what triggered me into realizing I was wrong?


My intuition.


I kept getting the feeling like something was wrong, and something was off, but I couldn’t figure out what.

Until I had this realization that I’m sharing with you.

I realized I’d messed up big time. I had disappointed the people who trusted me and done exactly what I was against:

Ignoring the concerns of the minority in favor of a more well-off majority.

Now, what does that remind you of?


But, I wasn’t going to try and save face and I sure as hell wasn’t going to allow myself to wallow in shame.

I took my Facebook group literally the night before the group mastermind was scheduled to start, apologized, acknowledged that I needed to do better, and rescheduled the call.


Which is how I leaned into an important lesson about leadership: a leader is real. They make mistakes, they fuck up, and they’re not always right.

But what’s more important is that they admit that to their communities, own up to their mistakes, and try to correct themselves.


Though it was fucking difficult to do, it’s important to me to live into my values and model the kind of leadership I truly admire, because I know every second that I show up in true, liberatory leadership…

…it gives permission for someone else to do it, too.

And that, my love, is how we slowly, but surely, change this world.


Until next time precious,


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