Want to see your therapist’s jaw literally drop? Say this out loud:
“I feel worthless. I’m ashamed that my husband has to tell people I’m his wife.”
As I continued explaining why (and she put her jaw back together), she stopped my thoughts with this question…
“You’re not objectively beautiful…by whose standards?”
She was right – I was saying I wasn’t objectively beautiful based on a beauty standard that aren’t created to be inclusive of black bodies, black hair, black features, etc.
I could starve myself, wear fake hair, and wear Lululemons day in and day out (oops, is my California showing?) and still feel
Like an imposter.
So why, god, why was I trying to fit in?
Since that session, I’ve been working hard to release external beauty standards, and embrace standards that are created by me, myself, and I.
(By the way, can I get an AMEN for good ass therapists?)
But enough about me. Let’s talk about you….
Where in your life are you holding yourself to external standards that aren’t a good fit for you?
> Staying with your partner, when really you want to be single and travel the world?
> Still working that tech job when really, all you want to do is write your first novel?
> Trying to be more “disciplined” with your time, when you’re really a “go with the flow” kind of person?
> Pretending to love arts and culture, when really you just want to watch Big Mouth with a bag of hot cheetos?
Whose standards are you actually holding yourself to…
…and what’s one way your life would be different if you only cared about your standards instead?
Life’s too short to be playing by someone else’s rules.
Join me in the land of the rulebreakers….
….spoiler alert: life’s better here.