this is NOT revolutionary leadership

Jan 27, 2022

I’ve been breaking my own leadership rules lately, and I didn’t even realize it. 🤦🏿‍♀️

I broke it because, tbh, I haven’t been fully honest with myself about what I want in my business.

I’ve been so focused on what’s:

  • realistic
  • feasible
  • necessary

Instead of being honest about what I actually want and finding a way to make that realistic, feasible, and necessary.

I’ve been so focused on what’s good for everyone else – my team, my clients, my partner…

….that I completely left myself behind in the process.

Let me clarify this for the folks who are just catching up:

That is NOT revolutionary leadership.

Yes, as revolutionary leaders, we value people over profit.

We consider our team and clients to be true community, and treat them as such.

But one thing that’s easy to forget is:

You are one of the people you need to prioritize over profit, too.

That’s easy to say when your needs align with your community’s needs…

…but it’s so much harder when it feels like your needs are in direct opposition to everyone else’s.

As women and femmes of color who are socialized, shamed, and guilted into being caretakers and side characters of our own damn lives, it can often feel like:

👉🏿claiming what’s really right for us means taking something for someone else
👉🏿taking up space for ourselves and our voice means there’s less for others
👉🏿ending an agreement that is no longer in alignment for us means abandoning someone we love

Excuse me while I take a deep sigh of exhaustion for all of the unnecessary drama we all experience from living in a world that thrives on binaries and scarcity mindsets.

I’m gonna be honest.

When it comes to claiming your needs as a leader… sometimes, it really does hurt.

Sometimes meeting your needs is going to mean:

👉🏿You can’t be there for someone, because you don’t have capacity
👉🏿You have to end something, because while it’s good for your community… it sucks for you
👉🏿You lose a community member, employee, or worse, friend who is offended by your need to prioritize yourself (it’s sad how often this one is true, y’all)

And – it’s okay, because I know you, revolutionary. You’ve got all the tools in the world to handle hard things. You can be with the difficult emotions, tough conversations, and grief that comes with owning your ‘no.’

You’ve done it before and survived.

You can do it again, and thrive.

Claim your needs, revolutionary – because you are just as important as those you lead and serve.

It doesn’t make you selfish to say “no”…

….it makes you a motherfucking inspiration.


P.S. – Feeling like you want some support around ruthlessly claiming your needs, wants, and boundaries as a revolutionary leader – even when it’s hard as hell? Good news, precious – 1:1 coaching with me is only one click away.

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