you and I have this in common
I was writing another post just now, but I stopped because this one is more important.
I wanted to write you a post about the lessons we can learn from actually listening to and respecting our needs (don’t worry, it’s still coming!)
The problem was, I kept getting in my head.
I was worried that I had already written about the topic too many times.
I was scared that I was ignoring the talking points I’m “supposed” to use.
Long story short, I wanted to do the newsletter “right” and in order to do it “right,” I felt like I had to follow the “marketing rules” and ignore my intuition.
Excuse me while I take a long deep sigh because I don’t know about you, but I’m so tired of trying to be “right.”
I know you’re tired of trying to be “right”, too…
..so let’s break down where this comes from, because the only way to we can fix this problem is to understand what the fuck the problem actually is.
Wanting to be “right” and not trusting our intuition are direct symptoms of white supremacy culture.
(For those of you who don’t know, white supremacy culture is the idea that the thoughts and ways of white people are better and more important than the thoughts of being of people of color.)
There are a lot of characteristics of white supremacy culture, and I won’t name them all in this email, but there are a couple that came to play when I was writing my newsletter.
The first characteristic of white supremacy that got in my way was one called “only one right way.” This concept means that there’s only one right way to do things…
…and spoiler alert, the one right way ALWAYS comes from a “expert,” (typically a white older white male) and never comes from you.
Another characteristic of white supremacy culture that was coming into play for me was “perfectionism,” which a lot of times, runs deep for us as folks of color, because we’re taught that if we are perfect human beings, then we will be given safety, success, and financial stability that our communities have been denied for so long.
White supremacy culture creates generational trauma that can often feel so normal at this point that we often don’t recognize that the way that we move throughout the world is a direct result of ongoing systemic oppression that has socialized us to disrespect ourselves, our intuitions and conform to whiteness in hopes that we will finally receive emotional, physical and mental and financial safety.
If you only read one thing today, here’s what I want you to hear: You do not have to conform to the “right” way or be perfect to succeed.
I know some part of you knows that, or else you wouldn’t be reading this email.
If you’re anything like me, you’re tired of trying to be perfect and you’re done trying to follow anyone else’s rules.
You know that there’s infinite wisdom inside of you, but you’re scared to go against the grain.
So, how do you chase what you know to be true, when everyone else says it’s wrong?
You do it through your mindset.
You need to:
- know the characteristics of white supremacy culture, and then be deeply vigilant in marking them as unhelpful when they show up for you
- tell yourself more helpful, decolonial thoughts when you hear white supremacy culture screaming your name
- learn to focus on the evidence you already have that doing things your way works, instead of focusing on the fear that it won’t.
This isn’t easy work to do, because we’ve spent decades of our lives participating in white supremacy culture.
It can often feel easier to go with the motion of this oppressive culture than to chart the new course of our own.
It can feel like you’re going against the grain, every single day.
But I promise you, it’s worth it.
When we go against the grain of white supremacy culture, that’s when we finally:
- make change in our communities
- start fulfilling our purpose on this earth
- move from a state of surviving within this shitty system to thriving in our own generative systems.
I know that first hand, because I’ve seen it in my own life and work, and in the lives of my clients.
The more I and my clients divest from white supremacy culture, the more we’re able to rest, experience joy, build meaningful community, and make good money while we do it.
The best part, however, is that we’re doing it OUR way. So the journey feels good the entire time.
If you’re ready to say middle fingers up to White Supremacy Culture, then you might want to check out my six month group coaching program, Revolutionary Rising.
Revolutionary Rising is a program for changemakers of color who want to get white supremacy culture out of their minds, bodies, the way they move through the world.
It’s for folks of color who are ready to disrupt systems, make true change in this world, and who are ready to do this work alongside other like minded changemakers of color.
It’s a coaching and healing experience like no other where we combine intimate, individualized coaching with the dopest BIPOC community you’ve ever been a part of.
Sound like exactly what the doctor ordered?
Click here to apply. We have a cohort starting in July and we’d love to see you there.
See you soon,
We Can’t Thrive Alone!
The best part about building a Revolutionary life is knowing that your fam’s got your back. Join the Revolutionary Changemakers of Color Facebook group for women and femmes of color who want to create change, and do it THEIR way.